Divorce, Experiences

Healing after Divorce

After my divorce was finalized in November 2016, I knew I had to start moving on with my life. I was so tired of drinking, crying and dealing with intense anxiety. I got on google and did research on local therapists, support groups, information on how to be a single parent. I stumbled upon a website called DivorceCare.

DivorceCare is a recovery support group that has locations all over the U.S. These groups meet in churches or other businesses. The group I joined had meetings in a church in Springfield. The group was free, all I had to pay for was the workbook for the 12 week course which was presented on a DVD. So each Sunday evening, I drove with my son to the church. The church had childcare on Sunday evenings due to church service going on the same time as the group meetings. I sat in group with a handful of other people who had either been through the divorce process or were in the midst of divorce. The group was moderated by a couple who had been divorced themselves, who had completed the course and were eager to share their experiences with the group members.

Each meeting on Sunday started with a prayer, a lesson on DVD, and then we discussed the lesson, took notes and shared our own experiences. The lessons focused on what to expect emotionally during divorce, the healing process, how to handle finances and custody of children. We would talk about what was going on with the legal process, venting on custody arrangements, or just sharing emotions were were feeling. At no time during those lessons was religion or doctrine ever pushed on me. It was so calming walking into that church, I felt a sense of peace come over me.

There were people from all walks of life in my group. It was so helpful to me to see that there were other people out there feeling the same way I did. It also gave me perspective on my own situation, since there were people in my group who had it WAY worse than I did with the divorce process. We all can get through this. It is not easy, but it is possible.

Another avenue I explored after my divorce was finalized was seeing a therapist. I was blessed with my job at that time to have an Employee Assistance Program that offered three free visits with a mental health professional. I used those visits with my therapist to discuss coping mechanisms and building confidence to move forward and heal.

I hope this helps you or someone you know going through divorce or trying to heal after the divorce. Please leave a comment below with any other suggestions to others out there.

Check out https://www.divorcecare.org for more information on DivorceCare groups and meeting locations.

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