Divorce, Parenting

Co-parenting Conundrums

This last weekend, I made a road trip. I drove my home in Orlando to Naples to pick up my son for the weekend. My ex-husband and I have joint custody of our 11-year-old son. At this season in my life, my ex is the custodial parent, and I pay child support. It wasnt always like this. I was the custodial parent for about a year and half. Then my son had behavioral issues and it was recommended by his psychologist that he needed to be with his dad. So my son moved to Florida to live with his father about a year ago. I ended up moving to Florida myself a little under a year ago as well.

It is nice to be close to my son. I can say, in all honesty, that if I was still living in Missouri, I would probably not see my son. Travel is so expensive. Trying to get off work for several days at a time each month to visit is almost impossible.

Even though I live in an expensive area, and rent is outrageous, I don’t regret moving down here. The trip from Orlando to Naples is about four hours. I pick up my son, turn around and drive back home. Last weekend, my air conditioner in the car stopped working. So this trip was made in the 90 so degree heat, with just the windows down. Again, no regrets! We spent a great weekend together, swimming, watching golf, movies and relaxing.

Those brief weekends, those few hours of time together, I cherish. Even if they are not weekends full of amusement parks and dining out. Just feeling like a mom again gives me so much joy. To see my son smile and hear his laugh this weekend playing in the pool, was priceless.

You see, I suffer from “mommy guilt”. Modifying the custody agreement to let my ex-husband be the custodial parent was like a punch in the gut. Things are better now, but I still have the nagging voice in my head wondering why I can’t be with my son 24/7 like it used to be. Like it used to be during my marriage and shortly after.

Is it selfish to feel this way? My son is living with his dad and step mom, who are financially stable enough to send him to one of the best schools in Collier County. They live in a gorgeous condo, with many opportunities for recreation. I am grateful for his dad and step mom. They stepped up as parents.

I still get mildly irritated when I have to text back and forth with my ex regarding weekend plans. It’s always something. Dates don’t work, times dont work. My son showing up missing half his clothes for the weekend due to last-minute packing. The usual.

It’s all worth it to see your child. I thank God that my ex and I have enough of a cordial relationship that we put our son first.

Who has some co-parenting stories like this? Do any other parents out here feel like I do sometimes?

2 thoughts on “Co-parenting Conundrums”

  1. My daughter grew up with her mother. I had her every weekend and holidays. We both live in the same area. Time goes by kids grow up. As long as you have some good memories the rest fades. Life never goes how you would have planned it. Yolo. There are millions of us seperated parents. Your making an effort don’t feel guilty. Shit happens


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